My heart lunges out of my chest for those closeted Christians feeling as if they are some sort of mutant that God messed up on. I have a big place in my heart for you. I have walked the journey, well, I am walking it. My soul has such desire to share this journey with others walking a similar path to my own to give encouragement, offer advice, be a pillar of support, and tell you that you are PERFECT the way God created you. Baby, you were born this way! God did this purposely...and I am not going to give you any of that "God gave this struggle to you to lean on Him more" jargon. That is bull-ony. Let's start by taking a look at the root of this disgusting A-word (not ass!). Leviticus 18:22 - Man shall not lie with man as with a woman. There are so many reasons this can not longer be an argument against homosexuality.
1 - For those strong Christians, Christ came so we no longer have to live under the "old law".
2 - I know you've heard this one, but it's a legit argument; Leviticus also says we can't eat shellfish. There are hella ton of Bible thumpers who enjoy a fancy meal at Red Lobster. Sooo, should we stone them after they finish off that last cheddar bay biscuit?
3 - I would NEVER lie with a woman that way I would lie with a man. If I were in bed with a woman, there would be a good 3.5 feet in between us.
Number 3 is a bit ridiculous, but you get the picture. Gosh, how easy would it have been for these educated religious folk however many years ago to manipulate the uneducated mass saying, "God says men can't sleep with each other." They had to populate the stinkin' earth! Gay people don't exactly contribute to this, so maybe they were controlling the common folk for this reason. There are about 5 more verses that are seemingly condemning of homosexuality in the Bible, believe me, I will kindly educate the crap out of you on the counterargument, giving you a new perspective (even those verses in the New Testament!). If you are really eager, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to tell you my thoughts now. I can totally tell spirit wants me to reach out and be a light for those struggling and in the closet. Please, let me know how I can help!
There was a good chunk of time when I thought, "I know God forgives our sins, but I don't want to be gay if it actually is a sin...even if it is forgiven!" Does this sound familiar? That is not my thinking path anymore, but we all have to wrestle with these notions that hold us from true authenticity, because when we reach self-assurance, we will be strong in our new beliefs. Last year, I left student teaching early one afternoon (oh...I am a teacher! I love my kiddos!) to meet with my pastor. The picture below was a picture he showed me representing how I felt.
WELL OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE THE GUY IN THE PURPLE SHIRT! Each Sunday, you're telling me I am a freaking abomination! Now, there are times when I really have to remind myself that he spoke to me out of love, but I left that night, hopped in my Kia (her name is Discharge...guess what color she is), and bawled my eyes out. He made me feel as though I needed fixing. I already thought this about myself, and he nailed in the fact that I do indeed need fixing, and that God sure agrees! It took a few months, a break from Church, and much prayer and meditation to realize I felt like the purple shirt dude not because I felt gay and shouldn't be, but because I was not embracing my gift...the fabulous gift of gay. I was choosing to listen to a pastor who preached out of fear of difference and closed mindedness. I emailed a pastor, Ed Bacon, who preaches at All Saints Church in Pasadena, California. Oh, he was interviewed by Oprah, yo! Ed is a Christian, and in his email, he told me my sexuality was a gift from God. A gift? "Uhm, Ed. I just prayed last month that God would kill me. This is not a gift." I did eventually choose to embrace Ed's advice. I chose to listen to this pastor who was clearly preaching about God and His love for us. Ultimately, I realized that Jesus came to show us love, and my being okay with my gay will allow me to LOVE myself, others, and open my heart to loving those struggling with any issue. (Shout out to Ed Bacon! I love him!)
I saw this picture floating around my my Facebook newsfeed the other day, and I R(ed)OTFL.
I strive to handle any serious situations or personal struggle with humor. How hilarious is it to think about Jesus saying this. I'll respect your religious/spiritual beliefs, and honestly, I am still sorting out what mine are. I do believe that Jesus was at least a prophet and came to show us how to live and love. His message was certain: love all. That's it! I do not believe homosexuals are these lesser-thans that Jesus loved and broke bread with, even though they committed sinful acts. I don't think a loving, gay relationship is wrong...at all. The blessings of my sexuality are evident and sprouting up like weeds - or wildflowers! I have developed deep compassion for people I once looked down upon. I no longer give to sh*ts about what others think of me (unless you call me mean. Or grumpy. Or poorly dressed. Okay, I just care less about what others think of me.). Most importantly, dealing with my suppressed gay feelings ultimately transformed this Christian boy who lived in total fear and believed that non-Christians were condemned to Hell into a more worldly man who is on a spiritual journey and reads up on teachings of Buddah. Being gay has clearly taught me lessons I would have otherwise ceased to learn. I am that person who I once thought was for sure SOL come the rapture. And you know what? I am WAY happier with my relationship with God, Spirit, the Universe, and myself than I ever have been. God loves you. If I got to know you, I am sure I would too :)
Keep it genYOUine,
Tyler
No comments:
Post a Comment